Stage Fear-How I finally over came it

Stage Fear-How I finally over came it

The Fear:

It was in the First year of PUC that I came face to face with my stage fear. Though I was hyperactive and mischievous in School to the extent that I did not care who was watching, I had changed to a totally different person after 10^th standard.

We had a very nice teacher in my PUC at Sri Vidya Mandir, whose name was Lalitha Iyer and she taught us Physics. Towards the end of the semester, she announced that there was an opportunity for anyone to take a seminar. I liked astronomy very much and I was happy that I had got the Hertzprung Russel Diagram. I read the topic thoroughly and got lot of information over the Internet and expected a real good performance.

When my turn came I quickly went up to the board. Started explaining, but suddenly realized that all of my classmates were actually looking at me. Suddenly I could hear my heartbeat (yes I too have a heart). All of a sudden evenyone in front of me was a blur. I managed to get the words out clearly though was gramatically incorrect at several places, however I had completed speaking in 5 minutes a presentation content which was supposed to last 20 minutes as per the teacher.

I stood there looking at everyone, wondering what else to say next. I looked at a sheet which I had taken to the stage but at this point, the sheet appeared to be a language I could not recognize. My feet were shaking, my face and hands were sweating. My voice had dropped and I was feeling as if someone was holding a torch at my face.

Fortunately, the teacher prompted some questions which I answered correctly from the stage. The answers I gave, helped me in expanding what I could relate to ‘Hertzpurng Russel (HR) diagrams’, and quickly summarized the topic once again.

Walking back to my seat after the talk was the hardest part. After having reached the seat, my stomach felt as if it was snowing inside. There was a kind of chill arising at every part of my body. However, my feet were still shaking and arms were sweatier than ever, quite a strange experience I can say now; but at that point, I thought I would surely die (~_^).

I now knew that I had stage fear and I had to do something to over-come it!!! I asked my friends looking for a solution, but got nothing out of it. I remember reading that only by practice could one actually get over stage fear.

Now I had to find opportunities to practice, but since I am a very shy person. Even though it took a long time; finally in the First Year of my Engineering at Amrita School of Engineering that I got my opportunity.

The Comeback:

We had an amazing teacher called Tharini ma’am for Physics, she announced that interested students could give seminar on some topics that were not going to be covered. I quickly took the ‘Liquid Drop Model’. I had very little knowledge of this model but I had heard my PUC physics teacher talk about the model once and decided that this was the moment to change.

I read the text book thoroughly. Referred internet and became confident on what I was going to say. I organized the topics in the order that I was going to talk in the presentation. Then I wrote down the topic names to check if I could associate the contents to be addressed in the topic. I had some doubts, the teacher told me to skip over the doubts, but I was determined and finally just before the seminar managed to figure out the solution to my doubt.

On the day of the seminar, I went to the stage and checked out the view from the stage. Then just before the seminar, I greeted everyone with a smile and began. It went really really well, and the teacher was really impressed the way I explained the part which she had not solved earlier. The best part was I never even realized time fly by. I then indulged everyone in the question answer session and completed the presentation with a ‘Thank You (^_^)’.

It was as if this was a landmark in my public speaking. I confidently gave the presentation on 'Tokamak Fusion Reactor' in my third year of engineering. All further presentations in my life were a cake walk. 

Even in my MS when I gave my presentation on, 'Skype Peer to Peer Internet Telephony Protocol', I got a very good response. It was as if the initial friendship with the stage had bloomed into a beautiful relationship. 

You might get several suggestions from other people on what you can do to get rid of your stage fear. I don’t oppose any other form of getting used to the stage. It surely takes confidence, practice and a great deal of knowledge hunt to over come stage fear. But at the end of the day, remember... It does not matter if you fall, as long as you get up and keep walking.

Bicycle Incident - A Brake failure

One day I had borrowed my friend Vinay’s bicycle on the way back from school. He had informed me that the brakes were a little loose and asked me to ride carefully. 

I was just learning to ride a cycle that time and as we continued down the road, suddenly I noticed that a speeding auto-rickshaw was heading down the same path, so to make way, I increased my speed just a bit, to my misfortune, and the cycle wouldn’t stop no matter what and kept accelerating down the hill. My friends kept looking at me ride down the road as I went zooming downhill.

Fortunately, that day, the roads were dug up to correct the optical fibre cables in the ground. I sped into the ditch, landing on the other side of the ditch, with the cycle inside the ditch. Since the ditch as a wide mud barrier, it kind of shielded the bike from scratch, and me from severe wounds.

I still remember the kind of thrill and panic I had on that day. Though I regret now for being so careless with my life, I am happy that I got to experience this event.

I later analyzed most of the options I could have taken on the way down.

On that day, because of the ongoing construction work on the side road, there was a lot of sand, I could have decided to land on the sand, but as most of you might have experienced, Sand can be dam slippery and I might not have made it.

Suppose the roads were not dug up on that day, I would have no way to stop myself from riding into the drainage channel on the other side of the road. Lucky me and thank God (^_^).

However, by the end of the year I got my own bicycle and had plenty of special experience which I will share some other time.

Lost in childhood events

Event 1:

when i was in second standard, I had been to the Hanuman temple (a.k.a Prasanna Veeranjaneya temple)  near my home with parents. Though my parents were very cautious, I was very mischievous and managed to run away from the queue. Though my parents did not notice me for some time they assumed that i would be with some relatives who had come that day. When all were out and i was found to be missing, panic struck everyone, and they decided to look for me separately.

Each relative started going to different places. My dad went home and returned to the temple. my uncle started looking in the park nearby. and my mom started searching in the temple.The occasion was Hanuman jayanthi and the temple was flooded, and the only option was to go all the way.

While coming to the very end of the queue my mom spotted me sitting next to the priest and eating dry grapes.  The priest was very kind to me. As soon as my mom spotted me she came running in... and took me outside the temple. where all my relatives met.

Event 2:

This event happened in my 4th standard. My mothers uncle and their family had come to Bangalore. So my family, my mothers brother, sister their family and the uncles family had decided to visit Lal bhag, which is a reputed botanical garden in Bangalore.

Early in the morning we reached the place, and started going to all the reputed places within. had been to the glass house, the flower show, and the Tapiary, we even went to the very enchanting tree.

Photos were taken here and there, and memories of the place have been preserved to this very day. While we come to the very end of the trip all decided to go the Kempe-gowda hill. My uncle decided to volunteer to take the children for ice-cream. I then loved the Ball-Arun Ice-cream. Since cheaper ice-creams were available, my uncle decided to convince me to get some other ice-cream. but i was stubborn and loved only this, he lost in his fight when i went all tears... When we were going back i was still crying... and as i accompanied him to the hill found myself lost.

But i had remembered the cars parking place and decided to wait at the parking place. When my uncle reached the others and found me missing. All began to panic. then decided that my dad and my uncle go looking at 3 places while the others stayback. My dad went to the opposite gate looking for me. my uncle went to the glass house and the rose gardern. Both came back but it was vein. then my dad decided to go looking near the lake. my mom had a hinche that i may be near the parking place and came and found me there.

Mother took me back. But now my dad had not returned, so the driver volunteered to go looking for my dad. A small time after he left, my dad got back and all decided to wait for the driver. Thus though the actually trip lasted 3 hours, the rest of the day was spent in looking for every other person.

Event 3:

Don't remember exactly how long back! my family had been to chamarajapetay, looking for a good Saree for my mother. we went from shop to shop, and looked for different Sarees. As my parents continued, at one point lost track of me and i started going ahead on my own. Found myself all alone and entered some random shop all crying. When my parents found me missing, they started going back to all the shops they and been earlier, and eventually came to find me. We thanked the shopkeeper for taking care of me. And returned home.

more events to come when i find free time...

Event 4:

Even though, the event I am referring to is the most recent one since it happened during second year of engineering it still counts as child hood you see. I have been working in my uncles office in all my holidays ever-since i was in 11th standard, and over time i have learnt a lot of things. My uncle had sent me to acquire training in AutoCAD and I have liked the classes a lot because I got to work on what ever I learn in those classes and got up to date with the kind of development taking place in the software.

I used to be very punctual in the class, listening to all that the teacher said, and made use of the liberty to stay back and practice what ever extra drawings they had with them at Kruti.

One day I decided to go to my friend Ravi's house, because I have always considered him a genious. I did not have a mobile at that time, and did not bother to call home and inform, because it was a routine to reach home  by around 6:30~7:00 from college. Unfortunately, that day, due to a chain of events that took place, I felt like the most careless fellow in the world and strived to change from there on.

I tried to call from a coin booth near the hotel we stopped by but the coin booth was defective. I had CAD class that evening, so I decided to go directly to my CAD class, instead of going home, but on the previous day, I had informed my parents that I did not have class till evening, and took it for granted to go with ravi. when it got 7:00, my parents started worrying, and called my friend who got down at the same stop as me. But he just told them that I did not come by the bus that day, because he did not know.

Then my dad Sent his friend Mr. Lingappa to come look for me at the class, but he did not know that the building had 3 class. Then my parents began panicking, and tried calling the police, but they would not pick up at all. Inspite of all this, my dad had hope, and came and found me at the class that day. I had no idea of all the event that had happened because of my negligence.

Not long from that day,  I got my cell. Ever-since this event, I have made it a point to inform some one at home if my schedule gets altered.